June 5th 2025
Soul poison! Both of them, in their own unique ways. Most of us have met people who harbour unhealthy amounts of these concepts. Some of us have been those people. I have. I don’t think it’s really possible not to be.
While it’s easy to mentally assign yourself as one or the other, I don’t believe they are mutually exclusive. If someone thinks themselves to be inferior, I’d be willing to bet that there are a few ways in which they consider themselves the opposite and vice versa.
I also believe a strong concentration in either extremes can often very suddenly bring about an equally detrimental switch over to the other side.
Throughout my life, I have let people step all over me. It was true then and it’s unfortunately still true now, to some extent, although I’ve made some sure steps in the right direction.
Way back, viewing myself as a superior individual would have been unheard of to me. But some things happened semi-recently. I was inspired to try it on. So I did. It was alright for a while. Other people are stupid, why should I give a shit, I know best, I’m smarter, etc, etc. It felt nice not to have a reason to be so down on myself for once. To not assume that I was wrong no matter what, that I was overreacting, that I was a moron. Then the shame and disgust set in. Viewing myself as better than others was and is completely antithetical to my beliefs. I could try and convince myself ‘til the cows come home. I just know it isn’t true. I’m embarrassed just typing up this paragraph.
Thankfully all this was short lived and I decided to turn my attention to the actual problem. Not the lack of superiority, but the presence of inferiority. I’ve been working on viewing myself as neutrally as possible since. On really turning my personal beliefs outwards and thinking about what brings up these feelings in myself and others.
I do think it’s funny that for concepts I feel so negatively about, it’s very difficult for me to define them. Ask five different people what they think and they’re bound to give you completely different answers. What makes someone superior? Their kindness? Their economical status? What makes someone inferior? Addiction? Their economical status? Haha. It does seem like finances is often a subject at play in regards to this. Something I feel very strongly about, so it’s for another day.
I do think that regardless of how someone defines these terms, it’s relatively easy to see if they are letting themselves be eaten by them. I’ve seen family, friends, people I love and people I dislike be burdened by the social rank they’ve convinced themselves they belong to. Both are complete inhibitors to growth in different ways.
If you are convinced you are better and therefore deserve everything, who will you hurt in order to attain your goals? Will those you love still be around when you get that bag? When you need their help most?
If you are convinced you are lesser and therefore deserve nothing, who will you hurt in letting yourself be stepped on? Will those you love still be around when you are rotting? When you need their help most?
Limited examples that pigeonhole these terms, but they get the point across.
To escape the influence of these nebulous concepts, I feel like a fair amount of habitual introspection is necessary. Every day of our lives, we experience and are subject to events that are hellbent on challenging how we view ourselves and the world around us. For better or for worse. These can be anything from being alone with your thoughts for a while to witnessing something horrific. Everything influences you constantly. Your own opinions, the things you read, the clothes you wear, the people you talk to, the news you watch, everything. Bias is ever present in our lives whether we choose to acknowledge it or not. And it is very easy to let things get out of hand if you are not careful.
Whenever I am having strong thoughts regarding myself or someone else, I try my best to make it a habit to ask myself why. What is making me think that this is inferior? That this is superior? Did I hear something? Did I watch something? Have I been hurt by someone? Has someone I love been hurt? Am I letting any of these experiences impact my worth or that of others?
It sounds a little exhausting. It is occasionally, but I refuse to let bias take the reigns. Thinking “this is just how things are” and “this is just how people are” is very easy. One might say too easy. Almost like it’s a trick or something huh. A very easily taken advantage of trick.
Regardless, as much as I’d like to pretend that it’s possible to be completely neutral, I don’t believe that to be the case (unless you’re dead!). I think there will unfortunately always be a mix of superiority and inferiority within myself and others, no matter how hard we try. The key lies in keeping them leashed and obedient. Do not let them run the cup over or you are at risk of hurting yourself and others.
Dull, tired concepts should never rule you. Especially ones everyone can hardly agree upon.